Gynocentrism Runs Silent and it Runs Deep

understanding Gynocentrism is critical to our understanding men

This is the first in a series of posts on gynocentrism.  If we fail to understand gynocentrism we will surely fail to understand men's issues.

Gynocentrism is an important element in any men's issue.  Most people have very little awareness that they even have it.  It plays out in places like the empathy gap, or any situation that involves women's and men's needs and deciding who should get what.  Basically, it sees women's needs and pain as a call to action while seeing men's needs and pain as something less important or to even disregard.  Both men and women are likely to have gynocentric tendencies, some more than others, and few are aware of its presence.  The red pill gives us an awareness of the reality of our own gynocentric biases but it does not stop it.  We simply learn to smile at it and not act upon it, if we choose.

I give the following exercise in the workshops I do for mental health professionals on how to understand men's emotional processing and pain. It is meant to give people an idea of their own gynocentric attitudes.  Try it and see how you respond.

You are walking into your favorite restaurant. As you are being seated you notice a woman in a corner table who has her head in her hands and is crying. What is your first response to her?  What are your guesses about what is happening to her?  What does she need? What do you think should be done?

Ok, store those responses and clear that scene.  Now imagine you are walking into the same restaurant and this time you see at the same corner table a man with his head in his hands who is crying.  What is your response to him?  What are your guesses about what is happening to him? What does he need? What do you think should be done?

Now compare the two scenes and your reactions.  Were they different?  I know mine were.  When I first created this exercise I had to laugh at myself for being more inclined to be understanding and want to help the woman. What about those mental health professionals?  What did they say?  Well, they all said that the woman was in need of support, they used words for her like poor dear, or she's been hurt or many other compassionate phrases.  They all felt that she needed and deserved help and most were inclined to try and help out in some way.  But what did they think about the man?  Totally different.  I have done this with thousands of mental health professionals (mostly women) who said basically something similar to "Something is wrong with that guy" or "He must be drunk" and "Avoid him" “Steer clear of him.“

Two totally different responses and this is what we are dealing with.  Keep in mind that these were mental health professionals who one would assume would have compassion for anyone in emotional pain.  To their credit most were shocked at their own reactions and it helped them become aware of their own gynocentric bias.  

The vast majority of those who responded were determined to try and use their awareness to adjust to this bias.  My hat is off to them and they tended to profit from the remainder of the workshop.  But there were always about 5 out of a 100 attendees who said they would have treated him the same as the woman. They would have walked right up to that man and offered him some compassion.  I think that four of those five were feminists who were determined to not admit they had any bias against men.  The cognitive dissonance was just too great and their heads were in danger of exploding. lol  Then there was 1 who was simply telling the truth and was someone who truly loved men.  Yes, they are out there.