Thank you for an excellent, thoughtful, well reasoned and presented article. Keep up the good work, it is appreciated, even if little commented upon, as you state, men are doers and thinkers, not talkers, especially where the personal and intimate parts of their lives are involved, we prefer privacy and at times solitude.
There is much wisdom here. It also points to something that may explain much of the "patriarchy" in leadership in society. If challenges cause women to talk as a means of showing gratitude while men act to do things that demonstrate that gratitude in the real world, it is pretty clear which one is going to make a bigger impression and actually help ameliorate whatever harm or provide whatever service is needed to "pay it forward" as it were. Positive actions based in gratitude make the world a better place and tend to trigger others to act in this same fashion. Words may soothe feelings but that only goes so far. Men's actions show leadership. Women's show empathy at best but easily become performative. Perhaps that is why empty words and virtue signaling are so important in feminists...not that any feminist that I ever met ever showed gratitude for anything.
I think there are some philosophers who think just as you have written, that gratitude is an important and driving force in creating and maintaining cultures. Without it, things grind down.
Thanks for this Tom. It's good to hear positive words as a reminder to keep grounded.
Since the dawn of philsophy there has always been the question of 'What is happiness?'. I think, in my own folksy-pop-psychology way, that gratitude is a key ingredient of happiness. I think it happens in this order gratitude -> contentment -> happiness.
I think that contentment is a consistent way to live and happiness is found in those moments which are above average.
Sadly, gratitude and contentment get negative press as they can be associated with 'settling for less', or 'making do with hardships'. They don't seem to inspire rebellion or change. In my own personal life I don't find this to be the case. I'm more productive and more willing to embrace change when I'm at peace.
I also think that the feminist message has told women that gratitude for the world - and men in particular - is laugh out loud ridiculous. Women should be angry and ungrateful, in order to fight for change. No wonder so many women are so miserable.
Ironically, the same messaging tells men that they are priviliged. Even though many men don't feel it, somewhere, sometime, this could induce some form of gratitude, which may pay out for the benefit of men's happiness. After all, for some reason, women's happiness is tanking and men's is increasing.
Women have luxuries men never get, if you can live your entire Life without the fear of ever being forced to sign for the military and without ever having the fear that one day you could be forced to risk your life on a battle field, if you can get sex easily and even get paid for it, if you have governments and courts biased in your favour, if you have dating biased in your favour you are spoiled and priviliged. Men get nothing but blame, i would love to change places with women.
Thank you for an excellent, thoughtful, well reasoned and presented article. Keep up the good work, it is appreciated, even if little commented upon, as you state, men are doers and thinkers, not talkers, especially where the personal and intimate parts of their lives are involved, we prefer privacy and at times solitude.
Thank you Zuriel!
There is much wisdom here. It also points to something that may explain much of the "patriarchy" in leadership in society. If challenges cause women to talk as a means of showing gratitude while men act to do things that demonstrate that gratitude in the real world, it is pretty clear which one is going to make a bigger impression and actually help ameliorate whatever harm or provide whatever service is needed to "pay it forward" as it were. Positive actions based in gratitude make the world a better place and tend to trigger others to act in this same fashion. Words may soothe feelings but that only goes so far. Men's actions show leadership. Women's show empathy at best but easily become performative. Perhaps that is why empty words and virtue signaling are so important in feminists...not that any feminist that I ever met ever showed gratitude for anything.
I think there are some philosophers who think just as you have written, that gratitude is an important and driving force in creating and maintaining cultures. Without it, things grind down.
Feminism is certainly providing evidence to support that concept!
A person shall be best remembered by their acitions and inactions (failures to act) and not their words.
Thank you, Tom. Happy Thanksgiving. Here is a seal that DIDN’T have gratitude - he waited for a bigger fish to eat.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mAY9ob__CYE
Thanks for this Tom. It's good to hear positive words as a reminder to keep grounded.
Since the dawn of philsophy there has always been the question of 'What is happiness?'. I think, in my own folksy-pop-psychology way, that gratitude is a key ingredient of happiness. I think it happens in this order gratitude -> contentment -> happiness.
I think that contentment is a consistent way to live and happiness is found in those moments which are above average.
Sadly, gratitude and contentment get negative press as they can be associated with 'settling for less', or 'making do with hardships'. They don't seem to inspire rebellion or change. In my own personal life I don't find this to be the case. I'm more productive and more willing to embrace change when I'm at peace.
I also think that the feminist message has told women that gratitude for the world - and men in particular - is laugh out loud ridiculous. Women should be angry and ungrateful, in order to fight for change. No wonder so many women are so miserable.
Ironically, the same messaging tells men that they are priviliged. Even though many men don't feel it, somewhere, sometime, this could induce some form of gratitude, which may pay out for the benefit of men's happiness. After all, for some reason, women's happiness is tanking and men's is increasing.
So true about the feminist message. Indeed.
Women have luxuries men never get, if you can live your entire Life without the fear of ever being forced to sign for the military and without ever having the fear that one day you could be forced to risk your life on a battle field, if you can get sex easily and even get paid for it, if you have governments and courts biased in your favour, if you have dating biased in your favour you are spoiled and priviliged. Men get nothing but blame, i would love to change places with women.
Gynoecentrism covers this up doesn't it?
Happy Thanksgiving Tom 🙏🙌
Thanks Jamie!
Thank you Tom for your steadfastness in alerting us to the goings-on in the world that are against Men.
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