In the late 1970s I went to a talk given by then then celebrated Domestic Violence campaigner, Erin Pizzey. The founder of the Refuge charity. At that talk she outlined her experiences in her refuges for women, and her attempts to open the first for men. A few years later her book "Prone to Violence" expanded on her talk (at my University). Risk factors were experience of or seeing abuse as a child, alcoholism, drug dependency, financial stress and violence outside the home. In her talk she pointed out these were true for female perpetrators too hence her attempts to make available Refuge services for men and boys. She wanted in particular to "break the cycle" that she'd observed whereby children of abusive parent/s might reproduce the same patterns in their relationships. Partly because her parents had had a mutually abusive relationship which was visited on their daughters. Fast forward 15 years or so and a couple in my wider family were involved with social services. The actual circumstances were that the wife's growing dependence on drugs made her behaviour erratic and abusive towards her husband and their two children. In seeking help in fact services labelled him as the abuser, because of an ideological position that even his attempts to get help were "controlling" as were such obvious steps as hiding money from her or trying to stop her going out to connect with her dealers. This wilful misreading continued until her behaviour became so bad she was arrested and imprisoned. A grudging recognition of the truth meant the husband then had custody of his step daughter and son. And though mentally damaged held himself together long enough to see them grow into adulthood. Though he remained fragile and died rather prematurely after bouts of mental illness. Had a more human and sensible approach been taken, time and resources devoted to trying to prove him an abusive controlling man could have been applied to helping his increasingly vulnerable wife with the problems that fuelled her abusive behaviour. Two children may have grown up with their parents, who themselves might have lived longer (needless to say imprisonment did little to address the mother's addictions).
This was my "red pill" experience as I found that though often the "risk factors" named all those years earlier by Erin Pizzey were still used, 15 years later they were applied in a framework that assumed these only applied to males and were linked by a desire to control and dominate, again a desire only males had. So we are talking of a lecture and book 45 years ago, research that repeatedly confirms Erin Pizzey's experiences and observation for at least the 30 years I've taken an interest in this issue. Yet even the charity Erin Pizzey founded as well as all the vast investment in services and policies from public money is based on the feminist analysis that only men can be abusive and this is always the intention. This ideology causing incalculable damage to men, to boys and girls, and women too.
It's like the movie "Child 55" where in Stalin's perfect socialist state murder cannot exist, so pursuing a serial killer of children is a crime itself. Based on fact the truth is many murders went uninvestigated or punished because ideology said no such thing could happen.
The remarkable thing to me as how, in the last 30 years I've taken an interest and supported the small charities for men, that overall public policy remains completely dominated by the ideology that only men are abusive and this is intentional while no women can be nor can they have any problems that are not caused by their controlling Male partners/husbands.
Being a survivor of three divorces, two of which were in another country on the other side of the globe, I have an oversupply of stories of IPV for which I received zero help, zero support, many rejections, and even sometimes severe reprimands for daring to reach out for help. The laws against gender discrimination apply only if the woman is the victim of discrimination. If it's against a man, tough luck, guy; maybe in the Next World it will be better.
I might add that a religious friend of mine in Israel told me that it is written in the Talmud that a man who has had a bad wife will never see Hell. If that's really true, then I've got it made in the Next World! There's only one catch: I have to die to collect the reward. Just one more case in which the man suffers and gets no help unless there really is an afterlife; doesn't sound very promising, does it?
I posted a quote from Ecclesiastes here on Substack. If it has been taken down, I can guess what sort of person took it down. It expresses the truth in undisguised style. However, the words of William Blake come to mind: "A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent." So once again, if the man is honest, he's branded as the bad guy. That's the kind of "fairness" that men face in life today. I have written abundantly on this subject, but if I ever write an autobiography, it will have to be an encyclopedia to cover all the nightmarish incidents I have faced, almost always because of female spouses who knew that they will rarely, if ever, face any kind of punishment for their misdeeds. It's no surprise to me that the male suicide rate is higher; finding no reliable support during hard times makes death sound appealing to many who have just had enough.
And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
I posted the literal translation from Hebrew; the religious Israeli soldier taught me the verse, which is the reason that I know it today. English versions tend to take great liberties that make the text sound more Shakesperean. I should add that Hebrew is far less “flowery” than English, and that may be one factor that makes Israelis so very blunt and aggressive. Americans who move there have major culture shock; 65% of American immigrants return to the United States within three years, the period of time during which immigrants are exempt from the excessive taxation there.
Yes, Tom, I am very judgemental. I judge men and women all the time. A man who has had three divorces is not a very smart man. I was wondering, and a bit joking, if he is a bit slow mentally.
Says the man who has not walked one inch in my shoes, eh Tom? How much jail time have you done defending the rights of other people Tom?
Maybe you should have bothered to help me over the last 17 years. But...you...didn't. Now? You have a choice.
1. Support me.
or
2. Remain irrelevant.
You have achieved nothing all these years Tom, except maybe put a few dollars in your pocket from your writings. I, on the other hand, have saved many mens lives. And I would have saved many more mens lives if men helped me as and when I asked Tom. Many men would have saved their own lives if they used my remedy to unilaterally divorce their wives and pay them nothing.
In May 2008 I made a vow to save as many mens lives as I could. And that number is now in the thousands...soon enough it will be in the tens of thousands. And as we denounce ALL WOMEN and we persuade tens of millions of young men to NEVER GET MARRIED (as Andrew Tate is doing) we will save many more mens lives.
What vow did you take Tom? What can you point to for all your so called "work" over the last decade or so?
I am not sure when you went public. But I went public in June 2008. And I delivered the remedy for the divorce courts on 2009-11-26. On video.
And then men wonder why they are being put down by feminists. They do the work for them. In men’s rights groups on both sides of the ocean, the meetings are largely filled with men putting each other down, just as you have done now. So don’t be surprised if you become a moving target, too; you’ve just identified yourself as a classic target!
Men find the programmes are captured by a misandrist ideology.
I've been through all the touch points, struggle sessions, and institutions.
There's an ethos of man bad, woman good, everywhere.
For example, the UK male domestic violence charity trains telephone operators to profile men as criminals and entrap them. They naturally have a mandatory reporting obligation. And police keep false reports as evidence for 47 years.
If all men had a shit testing instinct, to subconsciously challenge women in every way. We'd rightly say that's evil and launch a massive campaign of social engineering to suppress it and use the full power of the state to regulate it.
Men don't have a shit testing instinct.
Women do. All women. Nearly all the time.
Imagine if men refused to talk to women more than once a month or once a year or even not for years after marriage. We'd rightly call that out as unreasonable and outrageous.
But women create dead bedrooms. Lesbians are the worst for this. Lesbians are also the worst for marriage with up to 72% acrimonious divorce rate.
Gay men have the best sex lives and the lowest divorce rate at only 29% of homosexual divorces.
Go figure.
So what social technologies can help women mitigate their instincts for emotional terrorism, their violence prone natures, and their unrectified emotional labial behaviour?
As a man who was raped many times in my marriage, who had my wife throw carving knives at me, bite me, kick me, punch me, scream at me.....I am ignored. But hey, if a woman writes something LETS CELEBRATE HER!!! YAY! A WOMAN WROTE SOMETHING!!
They quite like to attack men with knives. I was also attacked by a woman with a carving knife way back when I was at university. I don't know why they bother because I am 6'2" and it's very easy to disarm even a man my own size with a knife. It's one of the basic skills of marshal arts to take a knife or gun off an attacker.
It seems to be an emotional thing (I'm in chaos and will kill to communicate my emotional state). A desperate symbol.
A surprise determined knife attack might level the playing field, but men are still faster, far stronger, with height and reach advantage. Better situational awareness. A single self defense stike from a man could result in catastrophic damage to a woman..
And yet, we say women are at least a 4 crazy, and the image is of an attractive woman brandishing a kitchen knife.
My wife used it on me, the police woman said if she'd have injured herself I'd have gone to prison. She used to sleep with it under her pillow too. I don't think she was an unusually bad woman either.
Ecclesiastes 7:26 really fits "I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare."
I think all women are on the BPD spectrum. They are indeed all at least a 4 crazy. It's bred into them. Made far worse by social media. And by legal supremacy.
As a man who was raped many times in my marriage, who had my wife throw carving knives at me, bite me, kick me, punch me, scream at me.....I am ignored. But hey, if a woman writes something LETS CELEBRATE HER!!! YAY! A WOMAN WROTE SOMETHING!!
Feminists say they want equality yet they do everything they can to prevent equality for men, feminism is an anti male hate movement, they want cherry picked rights for women and to prevent men getting any kind of help at all . My Granda suffered years of abuse from my grandmother that was so bad he wouldn't tell me the worst of it , but i know my grandmother attacked him with a poker at least once and at one point he never came home from his work place for days on end just so he could have some peace, He told me he knew other men who were being abused but no one helps men. women have proved their equality is one sided and they have proved to be hypocrites, liars and misandrists.
One other point I thought very interesting was that the greatest risk factor for female IPV injury was her own use of violence against her partner.
In other words, the best approach to reducing harm to women from IPV would be to address women's own violent behavior.
But because feminist doctrine insists IPV only flows one-way, they are dogma-bound to never tackle the greatest risk factor for female IPV injury.
https://medium.com/in-medio-stat-veritas/unseen-scars-unheard-voices-bc50816ed8a0
I don't say that, it is same as the feminists do to blame men. I women do blame and make arguments often but it doesn't lead to them being victim.
Most Domestic violence are two sided, also "women do start fight first more but that cannot be expressed like this."
Men get blamed and doesn't get help and women say toxic masculinity is causing DV is also terrible idea.....
NEVER BE LIKE FEMINISTS
In the late 1970s I went to a talk given by then then celebrated Domestic Violence campaigner, Erin Pizzey. The founder of the Refuge charity. At that talk she outlined her experiences in her refuges for women, and her attempts to open the first for men. A few years later her book "Prone to Violence" expanded on her talk (at my University). Risk factors were experience of or seeing abuse as a child, alcoholism, drug dependency, financial stress and violence outside the home. In her talk she pointed out these were true for female perpetrators too hence her attempts to make available Refuge services for men and boys. She wanted in particular to "break the cycle" that she'd observed whereby children of abusive parent/s might reproduce the same patterns in their relationships. Partly because her parents had had a mutually abusive relationship which was visited on their daughters. Fast forward 15 years or so and a couple in my wider family were involved with social services. The actual circumstances were that the wife's growing dependence on drugs made her behaviour erratic and abusive towards her husband and their two children. In seeking help in fact services labelled him as the abuser, because of an ideological position that even his attempts to get help were "controlling" as were such obvious steps as hiding money from her or trying to stop her going out to connect with her dealers. This wilful misreading continued until her behaviour became so bad she was arrested and imprisoned. A grudging recognition of the truth meant the husband then had custody of his step daughter and son. And though mentally damaged held himself together long enough to see them grow into adulthood. Though he remained fragile and died rather prematurely after bouts of mental illness. Had a more human and sensible approach been taken, time and resources devoted to trying to prove him an abusive controlling man could have been applied to helping his increasingly vulnerable wife with the problems that fuelled her abusive behaviour. Two children may have grown up with their parents, who themselves might have lived longer (needless to say imprisonment did little to address the mother's addictions).
This was my "red pill" experience as I found that though often the "risk factors" named all those years earlier by Erin Pizzey were still used, 15 years later they were applied in a framework that assumed these only applied to males and were linked by a desire to control and dominate, again a desire only males had. So we are talking of a lecture and book 45 years ago, research that repeatedly confirms Erin Pizzey's experiences and observation for at least the 30 years I've taken an interest in this issue. Yet even the charity Erin Pizzey founded as well as all the vast investment in services and policies from public money is based on the feminist analysis that only men can be abusive and this is always the intention. This ideology causing incalculable damage to men, to boys and girls, and women too.
It's like the movie "Child 55" where in Stalin's perfect socialist state murder cannot exist, so pursuing a serial killer of children is a crime itself. Based on fact the truth is many murders went uninvestigated or punished because ideology said no such thing could happen.
The remarkable thing to me as how, in the last 30 years I've taken an interest and supported the small charities for men, that overall public policy remains completely dominated by the ideology that only men are abusive and this is intentional while no women can be nor can they have any problems that are not caused by their controlling Male partners/husbands.
Being a survivor of three divorces, two of which were in another country on the other side of the globe, I have an oversupply of stories of IPV for which I received zero help, zero support, many rejections, and even sometimes severe reprimands for daring to reach out for help. The laws against gender discrimination apply only if the woman is the victim of discrimination. If it's against a man, tough luck, guy; maybe in the Next World it will be better.
I might add that a religious friend of mine in Israel told me that it is written in the Talmud that a man who has had a bad wife will never see Hell. If that's really true, then I've got it made in the Next World! There's only one catch: I have to die to collect the reward. Just one more case in which the man suffers and gets no help unless there really is an afterlife; doesn't sound very promising, does it?
I posted a quote from Ecclesiastes here on Substack. If it has been taken down, I can guess what sort of person took it down. It expresses the truth in undisguised style. However, the words of William Blake come to mind: "A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent." So once again, if the man is honest, he's branded as the bad guy. That's the kind of "fairness" that men face in life today. I have written abundantly on this subject, but if I ever write an autobiography, it will have to be an encyclopedia to cover all the nightmarish incidents I have faced, almost always because of female spouses who knew that they will rarely, if ever, face any kind of punishment for their misdeeds. It's no surprise to me that the male suicide rate is higher; finding no reliable support during hard times makes death sound appealing to many who have just had enough.
Ecclesiastes 7:26
And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
I posted the literal translation from Hebrew; the religious Israeli soldier taught me the verse, which is the reason that I know it today. English versions tend to take great liberties that make the text sound more Shakesperean. I should add that Hebrew is far less “flowery” than English, and that may be one factor that makes Israelis so very blunt and aggressive. Americans who move there have major culture shock; 65% of American immigrants return to the United States within three years, the period of time during which immigrants are exempt from the excessive taxation there.
"three divorces". Are you a bit slow?
Are you a bit judgmental?
Yes, Tom, I am very judgemental. I judge men and women all the time. A man who has had three divorces is not a very smart man. I was wondering, and a bit joking, if he is a bit slow mentally.
Walk a mile in his shoes.
Says the man who has not walked one inch in my shoes, eh Tom? How much jail time have you done defending the rights of other people Tom?
Maybe you should have bothered to help me over the last 17 years. But...you...didn't. Now? You have a choice.
1. Support me.
or
2. Remain irrelevant.
You have achieved nothing all these years Tom, except maybe put a few dollars in your pocket from your writings. I, on the other hand, have saved many mens lives. And I would have saved many more mens lives if men helped me as and when I asked Tom. Many men would have saved their own lives if they used my remedy to unilaterally divorce their wives and pay them nothing.
In May 2008 I made a vow to save as many mens lives as I could. And that number is now in the thousands...soon enough it will be in the tens of thousands. And as we denounce ALL WOMEN and we persuade tens of millions of young men to NEVER GET MARRIED (as Andrew Tate is doing) we will save many more mens lives.
What vow did you take Tom? What can you point to for all your so called "work" over the last decade or so?
I am not sure when you went public. But I went public in June 2008. And I delivered the remedy for the divorce courts on 2009-11-26. On video.
Shifting the ground. I suggest you stay on topic or you may find yourself unable to comment.
Are you the pseudonym for Gloria Steinem? You sound exactly like her!
And then men wonder why they are being put down by feminists. They do the work for them. In men’s rights groups on both sides of the ocean, the meetings are largely filled with men putting each other down, just as you have done now. So don’t be surprised if you become a moving target, too; you’ve just identified yourself as a classic target!
Interesting research.
Men find the programmes are captured by a misandrist ideology.
I've been through all the touch points, struggle sessions, and institutions.
There's an ethos of man bad, woman good, everywhere.
For example, the UK male domestic violence charity trains telephone operators to profile men as criminals and entrap them. They naturally have a mandatory reporting obligation. And police keep false reports as evidence for 47 years.
If all men had a shit testing instinct, to subconsciously challenge women in every way. We'd rightly say that's evil and launch a massive campaign of social engineering to suppress it and use the full power of the state to regulate it.
Men don't have a shit testing instinct.
Women do. All women. Nearly all the time.
Imagine if men refused to talk to women more than once a month or once a year or even not for years after marriage. We'd rightly call that out as unreasonable and outrageous.
But women create dead bedrooms. Lesbians are the worst for this. Lesbians are also the worst for marriage with up to 72% acrimonious divorce rate.
Gay men have the best sex lives and the lowest divorce rate at only 29% of homosexual divorces.
Go figure.
So what social technologies can help women mitigate their instincts for emotional terrorism, their violence prone natures, and their unrectified emotional labial behaviour?
As a man who was raped many times in my marriage, who had my wife throw carving knives at me, bite me, kick me, punch me, scream at me.....I am ignored. But hey, if a woman writes something LETS CELEBRATE HER!!! YAY! A WOMAN WROTE SOMETHING!!
What is it with women and knives?
They quite like to attack men with knives. I was also attacked by a woman with a carving knife way back when I was at university. I don't know why they bother because I am 6'2" and it's very easy to disarm even a man my own size with a knife. It's one of the basic skills of marshal arts to take a knife or gun off an attacker.
Yes.
I have often thought it makes no martial sense.
It seems to be an emotional thing (I'm in chaos and will kill to communicate my emotional state). A desperate symbol.
A surprise determined knife attack might level the playing field, but men are still faster, far stronger, with height and reach advantage. Better situational awareness. A single self defense stike from a man could result in catastrophic damage to a woman..
And yet, we say women are at least a 4 crazy, and the image is of an attractive woman brandishing a kitchen knife.
My wife used it on me, the police woman said if she'd have injured herself I'd have gone to prison. She used to sleep with it under her pillow too. I don't think she was an unusually bad woman either.
Ecclesiastes 7:26 really fits "I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare."
I think all women are on the BPD spectrum. They are indeed all at least a 4 crazy. It's bred into them. Made far worse by social media. And by legal supremacy.
Thank you for this info.
As a man who was raped many times in my marriage, who had my wife throw carving knives at me, bite me, kick me, punch me, scream at me.....I am ignored. But hey, if a woman writes something LETS CELEBRATE HER!!! YAY! A WOMAN WROTE SOMETHING!!
Feminists say they want equality yet they do everything they can to prevent equality for men, feminism is an anti male hate movement, they want cherry picked rights for women and to prevent men getting any kind of help at all . My Granda suffered years of abuse from my grandmother that was so bad he wouldn't tell me the worst of it , but i know my grandmother attacked him with a poker at least once and at one point he never came home from his work place for days on end just so he could have some peace, He told me he knew other men who were being abused but no one helps men. women have proved their equality is one sided and they have proved to be hypocrites, liars and misandrists.