Read and remember: Inner strength, resilience, courage, loyalty, ambition, leadership, vision, self-compassion, kindness, respect for others, providing, protecting, an innate sense of fairness and justice are qualities which promote healthy lives, and the greater social wellbeing for everyone. These are associated with masculinity.
First, If you took out from history books all the accomplishments of the Dead White Men, as the left likes to call them, you'd have something the size of a comic book. If you took out the accomplishments of women and minorities, you couldn't tell the difference.
Second, as I've mansplained to several women, as noted above, men built the entire world, and they built it for women. Men want to solve problems; women want to talk about them, and while they are using their words to complain about men, they are doing it in perfect comfort in houses built by men, supplied with hot and cold running water that comes through pipes manufactured by men, put together and plumbed by men, coming from other pipes put underground by men, connected to reservoirs created by men. Then other pipes laid by men take away their excrement so it doesn't outrage their delicate sensibilities and prevent them from using their computers designed, engineered, and built by men, running on electricity generated and carried to them on wires strung 150' in the air - you got it: by men. In the meantime, single mothers create the next generation of thugs trying to tear it all down. I usually finish up with, "and you wonder why men don't take you seriously."
Harsh? I hope so, but sometimes a good spanking is exactly what a little girl needs.
I've also pondered the fact that women enjoy lives of comfort and safety thanks to all these systems built by men with blood and sweat, but your wording surpassed mine!
And you might get people to admit that men do the most hard, dirty, dangerous physical work, but they even do the most grueling mental labor. You don't find a lot of women in STEM fields not because of discrimination but because women generally don't like to do those jobs. They are more stimulated by emotional interactions with people, not by racking their brains over an equation or trying to refactor a couple thousand lines of code.
Do you think blatant disingenuousness like this is going to curry any favor with anyone that isn’t a man? This rhetoric is only going to further divide.
As a woman I champion every word said by Tom. I’m tired of women’s endless whinging and whining about men, instead we should be celebrating their differences and the fantastic contributions they made and continue to make to the human race.
My training is in electrical engineering; of course I've heard of Ada - and even coded a little in the language named Ada in her honor. Hard! I've also heard of Hedy Lamarr, whose techniques for frequency-hopping are still used today, also Katherine Johnson, a black woman and "computer" from my home state of WV, whose calculations were so accurate that astronauts would not fly until she personally checked the numbers. Also Joan Clarke, of Bletchley Park fame, also Marie Curie, also dozens of others.
We all contribute, and we all can criticize. Men don't do much bitching; mostly they solve problems. And know what they want in return? A little gratitude, a little home, a little family, and a little once or twice a week, if it's not too much trouble...
What always strikes me about "mental health" is the actual sociological data suggests males, in the societies which measure such things, are much less likely to be mentally unwell. I put mental health in quotes because what this is not about is the small number of men and women who suffer acute mental distress. And in these men are the majority. But the wider modern constellation of "mental health" stress, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation (unfortunately males are far more likely to kill them selves yet it is women who are the majority of "attempts" and ideations) self harming, even of late "gender dysphoria" are all female problems at a population level. There are period panics about all the girls who have "mental health problems" with a huge proportion of that age range reporting such things. For many categories 3 quarters or more are sufferers compared to males. With very little evidence it is assumed its is "hidden" by males who if they would "open up" then they too would join the hordes of the mentally unwell. And to an extent that may have some truth, but for many things the "gender gap" is so great it seems unlikely. So for instance if one were to look at self harm, anxiety, depression in teenagers one might take a look at what it is about males or their behaviour that means they are far less likely to experience these mental health problems. Maybe what is learnt could help the girls!
I had to smile recently as recently, because the education "special needs" budget is ballooning and many youngsters leave education to go on welfare because they have poor "mental health", the female Minister of Education in the Government was making speeches about how children needed to learn "resilience" and we shouldn't "medicalize" ordinary emotions like sadness or stress or being anxious! Basically saying develop a bit more of a stiff upper lip. It would be funny if it weren't for the fact that it is precisely her ilk that created the mess she now has to sort and so many children and adults have had their lives ruined by the determination to make everything "safe" and turn every challenge into a mental health emergency.
There is much truth in ALL of this including the part about men fulfilling their role as designed. One sees this in the responses of women. When men fail to fulfill their male role to solve a problem, perform a duty, or being aggressive in protection AND A WOMAN suffers from that failing, he is AGAIN wrong and gets criticized. Men can't win because women make everything about the woman's emotional comfort and personal well being.
A better way to look at the problem is actually to see women as DEFECTIVE MEN, not the other way around. Why do I say this? It is WOMEN who keep demanding that they should be permitted to fulfill men's historic roles (and when they fail claiming that the ROLE is wrong and must be modified so the woman's way of doing things somehow will magically work). It is feminist women in particular who adopt the worst traits of men when applying these roles and then claim they had no choice as the PATRIARCHY required them to do things this way even when no man would get away with such an approach. The truth remains, women are defective when trying to fulfill men's roles in women's ways and they are defective in failing to fulfill traditional women's roles in feminist ways that twist male conduct to suit women's emotion instability.
Society works best when men and women fulfill their original roles as designed by biology. If given a choice, society functions better when men fulfill their roles and women cease having a role in society beyond childbirth. Women, not men, are the more disposable sex for the everyday functioning of society which, again, makes sense given biology with women being able to be dedicated to the important but limited role of producing babies and raising them in their earliest year or two.
You mean the conduct of women demeaning men or men stating the truth about how women behave and women being incapable of looking in the mirror to see THEIR role in the problems between men and women?
No, men's desire to limit and shrink women failing terribly as women outgrow traditional cages. These are the consequences of not playing fair in the first place.
Not so much. Sorry...but women are the problem here...you're just upset because men have figured It out and men are systemically rejecting Western women as toxic and unworthy of their time or attention. Western women, for the most part, have demonstrated that they are incapable of introspection. As such, they cannot learn or recover from the problems THEY have created. The birth rate will indeed go down...and a lot of women are going to be discover that the world needs men more than it does them.
No sweetheart, you just don't like being held accountable. It seems to be a common boy problem. When you treat women like subhuman trash for so long, why would you think they would ever want to keep playing your little game? I look forward to you kissing our feet when grade schools become barren.
Wow...talk about projection given the topic of this article which I didn't write by the way. As for grade schools becoming barren...don't count on it...that would require women to develop the ability to keep their legs together which is NOT what we see happening.
feminism is deliberately trying to undermine men and destroy our rights, the last thing they want is equality, they wont accept any accountability for their own sexism and double standards, instead they are obsessed with blaming men. There is no attempt to listen to men or understand our problems, feminism is sexism stupidity ,lies and ignorance.
It frequently occurs to me that the way men operate was designed to be more functional during warfare. And warfare has pretty much been the constant throughout history. We are living in a virtually unprecedented time of peace for much of the world. But when you examine how men operate, we are designed to function during warfare and not break down into an emotional puddle of uselessness.
Yes, but it is not just war, it's emergency services of all kinds, from surgeons to EMT's, to police, fire and rescue etc. Testosterone pushes this mind set and does all sorts of things including muting the man's emotional tears when he is in the midst of deep feeling. The same hierarchical nature works very well in teams of all kinds, from construction crews to football teams. Men do very well shoulder to shoulder when on the same team.
I am working on it. We also need to hear the good that men bring to the world that is all too often overlooked. I have a post coming out next monday on what men bring to the Christmas season. It looks at the things that men do automatically and without thinking that go overlooked by too many.
Thanks for posting this, Tom. I wish the term "toxic masculinity" could be erased. It's so unhelpful and deeply divisive (and, ironically, tends to be used by people who profess to be in favour of diversity and inclusion). Indeed, the demonisation of men is profoundly wrong in a number of ways. No other demographic category in society accepts being demonised (rightly so), but why is it acceptable to constantly do so with men? How does anyone think it's a constructive way to conduct social/ public discourse? It's a bit like Hillary Clinton telling a chunk of the U.S. electorate that it was deplorable ... how do we think human beings react when they are constantly being told they’re bad?
Terminology can only be "erased" if you CONTROL all the outlets (and "we" don't...the feminists, their simps, Hollywood, academia, big tech, DC, and the hidden TPTB control the outlets). The only way to beat them is to embrace the term. Wear it with pride, put it on shirts, put it on billboards, make it a tagline everywhere, etc. Fvck 'em. I'm proud to be a toxic man.
That first point.... I've been saying it for at least 3 years. Men experience emotions differently than women yet we're expected to treat our emotions like them. I told that to my ex and she just got a blank stare on her face as though men aren't allowed to be different in this area. The brainwashing in society is so evil. Thank you for your Substacks. You let me see that the things I started noticing around 2020 aren't the result of me being bitter or crazy. Life in the West for men who want to be historical men (the good and, in my case, biblical, kind) is like a struggle fest where you're constantly being gaslighted everywhere you go. Even if going on a walk and wishing people would just cover up in a way that was once considered normal is seen as "misogyny". It's tiresome.
Tom I nearly cried when I read this. Thank you. The feminisation of society has brought some good things but unfortunately there’s been a huge cost too. And the feminist movement rarely if ever talk about it. Thank you
YES, you get it. There is NOTHING wrong with men. We are the same as we have always been. There is something very wrong with our CULTURE, which is now written by females, because there are no fathers in the house. And our boys and young men are suffering from JUST THAT, and have been for decades now. Our boys and young men are suffering and lost, because they have been raised by single Moms, who have NO IDEA how to turn their boys into MEN. Why should they? How can we expect them to? This is our #1 societal problem.
It's not misunderstood, its deliberately twisted. Frankly, I've had enough of this insanity. Thank God for the patriarchy, they are the true protectors of women and children. I thank God for my husband, my brother, my grandson, my great grandson. To all the feminist that started this nonsense about toxic masculinity, pound sand. The only toxic behavior I've witnessed come from the toxic feminist. Frankly, I've had enough.
Read and remember: Inner strength, resilience, courage, loyalty, ambition, leadership, vision, self-compassion, kindness, respect for others, providing, protecting, an innate sense of fairness and justice are qualities which promote healthy lives, and the greater social wellbeing for everyone. These are associated with masculinity.
And they are nothing to apologize for.
Indeed!
Agreed, nicely put
So much to unpack from a short article:
First, If you took out from history books all the accomplishments of the Dead White Men, as the left likes to call them, you'd have something the size of a comic book. If you took out the accomplishments of women and minorities, you couldn't tell the difference.
Second, as I've mansplained to several women, as noted above, men built the entire world, and they built it for women. Men want to solve problems; women want to talk about them, and while they are using their words to complain about men, they are doing it in perfect comfort in houses built by men, supplied with hot and cold running water that comes through pipes manufactured by men, put together and plumbed by men, coming from other pipes put underground by men, connected to reservoirs created by men. Then other pipes laid by men take away their excrement so it doesn't outrage their delicate sensibilities and prevent them from using their computers designed, engineered, and built by men, running on electricity generated and carried to them on wires strung 150' in the air - you got it: by men. In the meantime, single mothers create the next generation of thugs trying to tear it all down. I usually finish up with, "and you wonder why men don't take you seriously."
Harsh? I hope so, but sometimes a good spanking is exactly what a little girl needs.
I've also pondered the fact that women enjoy lives of comfort and safety thanks to all these systems built by men with blood and sweat, but your wording surpassed mine!
And you might get people to admit that men do the most hard, dirty, dangerous physical work, but they even do the most grueling mental labor. You don't find a lot of women in STEM fields not because of discrimination but because women generally don't like to do those jobs. They are more stimulated by emotional interactions with people, not by racking their brains over an equation or trying to refactor a couple thousand lines of code.
Do you think blatant disingenuousness like this is going to curry any favor with anyone that isn’t a man? This rhetoric is only going to further divide.
As a woman I champion every word said by Tom. I’m tired of women’s endless whinging and whining about men, instead we should be celebrating their differences and the fantastic contributions they made and continue to make to the human race.
They are celebrated ad nauseam Lea. It’s time they learn to share.
Heard of Ada Lovelace?
My training is in electrical engineering; of course I've heard of Ada - and even coded a little in the language named Ada in her honor. Hard! I've also heard of Hedy Lamarr, whose techniques for frequency-hopping are still used today, also Katherine Johnson, a black woman and "computer" from my home state of WV, whose calculations were so accurate that astronauts would not fly until she personally checked the numbers. Also Joan Clarke, of Bletchley Park fame, also Marie Curie, also dozens of others.
We all contribute, and we all can criticize. Men don't do much bitching; mostly they solve problems. And know what they want in return? A little gratitude, a little home, a little family, and a little once or twice a week, if it's not too much trouble...
Well said!
What always strikes me about "mental health" is the actual sociological data suggests males, in the societies which measure such things, are much less likely to be mentally unwell. I put mental health in quotes because what this is not about is the small number of men and women who suffer acute mental distress. And in these men are the majority. But the wider modern constellation of "mental health" stress, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation (unfortunately males are far more likely to kill them selves yet it is women who are the majority of "attempts" and ideations) self harming, even of late "gender dysphoria" are all female problems at a population level. There are period panics about all the girls who have "mental health problems" with a huge proportion of that age range reporting such things. For many categories 3 quarters or more are sufferers compared to males. With very little evidence it is assumed its is "hidden" by males who if they would "open up" then they too would join the hordes of the mentally unwell. And to an extent that may have some truth, but for many things the "gender gap" is so great it seems unlikely. So for instance if one were to look at self harm, anxiety, depression in teenagers one might take a look at what it is about males or their behaviour that means they are far less likely to experience these mental health problems. Maybe what is learnt could help the girls!
I had to smile recently as recently, because the education "special needs" budget is ballooning and many youngsters leave education to go on welfare because they have poor "mental health", the female Minister of Education in the Government was making speeches about how children needed to learn "resilience" and we shouldn't "medicalize" ordinary emotions like sadness or stress or being anxious! Basically saying develop a bit more of a stiff upper lip. It would be funny if it weren't for the fact that it is precisely her ilk that created the mess she now has to sort and so many children and adults have had their lives ruined by the determination to make everything "safe" and turn every challenge into a mental health emergency.
Thanks for addressing the ingrained double standards.
There is much truth in ALL of this including the part about men fulfilling their role as designed. One sees this in the responses of women. When men fail to fulfill their male role to solve a problem, perform a duty, or being aggressive in protection AND A WOMAN suffers from that failing, he is AGAIN wrong and gets criticized. Men can't win because women make everything about the woman's emotional comfort and personal well being.
A better way to look at the problem is actually to see women as DEFECTIVE MEN, not the other way around. Why do I say this? It is WOMEN who keep demanding that they should be permitted to fulfill men's historic roles (and when they fail claiming that the ROLE is wrong and must be modified so the woman's way of doing things somehow will magically work). It is feminist women in particular who adopt the worst traits of men when applying these roles and then claim they had no choice as the PATRIARCHY required them to do things this way even when no man would get away with such an approach. The truth remains, women are defective when trying to fulfill men's roles in women's ways and they are defective in failing to fulfill traditional women's roles in feminist ways that twist male conduct to suit women's emotion instability.
Society works best when men and women fulfill their original roles as designed by biology. If given a choice, society functions better when men fulfill their roles and women cease having a role in society beyond childbirth. Women, not men, are the more disposable sex for the everyday functioning of society which, again, makes sense given biology with women being able to be dedicated to the important but limited role of producing babies and raising them in their earliest year or two.
Those birthrates are going to hit zero here pretty soon thanks to nonsense like this.
You mean the conduct of women demeaning men or men stating the truth about how women behave and women being incapable of looking in the mirror to see THEIR role in the problems between men and women?
No, men's desire to limit and shrink women failing terribly as women outgrow traditional cages. These are the consequences of not playing fair in the first place.
Not so much. Sorry...but women are the problem here...you're just upset because men have figured It out and men are systemically rejecting Western women as toxic and unworthy of their time or attention. Western women, for the most part, have demonstrated that they are incapable of introspection. As such, they cannot learn or recover from the problems THEY have created. The birth rate will indeed go down...and a lot of women are going to be discover that the world needs men more than it does them.
No sweetheart, you just don't like being held accountable. It seems to be a common boy problem. When you treat women like subhuman trash for so long, why would you think they would ever want to keep playing your little game? I look forward to you kissing our feet when grade schools become barren.
Wow...talk about projection given the topic of this article which I didn't write by the way. As for grade schools becoming barren...don't count on it...that would require women to develop the ability to keep their legs together which is NOT what we see happening.
feminism is deliberately trying to undermine men and destroy our rights, the last thing they want is equality, they wont accept any accountability for their own sexism and double standards, instead they are obsessed with blaming men. There is no attempt to listen to men or understand our problems, feminism is sexism stupidity ,lies and ignorance.
It frequently occurs to me that the way men operate was designed to be more functional during warfare. And warfare has pretty much been the constant throughout history. We are living in a virtually unprecedented time of peace for much of the world. But when you examine how men operate, we are designed to function during warfare and not break down into an emotional puddle of uselessness.
Yes, but it is not just war, it's emergency services of all kinds, from surgeons to EMT's, to police, fire and rescue etc. Testosterone pushes this mind set and does all sorts of things including muting the man's emotional tears when he is in the midst of deep feeling. The same hierarchical nature works very well in teams of all kinds, from construction crews to football teams. Men do very well shoulder to shoulder when on the same team.
I feel another book coming from you Tom... Our world needs to understand this.
I am working on it. We also need to hear the good that men bring to the world that is all too often overlooked. I have a post coming out next monday on what men bring to the Christmas season. It looks at the things that men do automatically and without thinking that go overlooked by too many.
Thank you for an excellent and informative and articulate article. Keep up the good work, it's both appreciated and necessary.
Thank you Zuriel!
Thanks for posting this, Tom. I wish the term "toxic masculinity" could be erased. It's so unhelpful and deeply divisive (and, ironically, tends to be used by people who profess to be in favour of diversity and inclusion). Indeed, the demonisation of men is profoundly wrong in a number of ways. No other demographic category in society accepts being demonised (rightly so), but why is it acceptable to constantly do so with men? How does anyone think it's a constructive way to conduct social/ public discourse? It's a bit like Hillary Clinton telling a chunk of the U.S. electorate that it was deplorable ... how do we think human beings react when they are constantly being told they’re bad?
Terminology can only be "erased" if you CONTROL all the outlets (and "we" don't...the feminists, their simps, Hollywood, academia, big tech, DC, and the hidden TPTB control the outlets). The only way to beat them is to embrace the term. Wear it with pride, put it on shirts, put it on billboards, make it a tagline everywhere, etc. Fvck 'em. I'm proud to be a toxic man.
You might be right!
That first point.... I've been saying it for at least 3 years. Men experience emotions differently than women yet we're expected to treat our emotions like them. I told that to my ex and she just got a blank stare on her face as though men aren't allowed to be different in this area. The brainwashing in society is so evil. Thank you for your Substacks. You let me see that the things I started noticing around 2020 aren't the result of me being bitter or crazy. Life in the West for men who want to be historical men (the good and, in my case, biblical, kind) is like a struggle fest where you're constantly being gaslighted everywhere you go. Even if going on a walk and wishing people would just cover up in a way that was once considered normal is seen as "misogyny". It's tiresome.
So we're not deficient after all? How refreshing! There is a tremendous amount of truth here, but some of it is debatable.
Tom I nearly cried when I read this. Thank you. The feminisation of society has brought some good things but unfortunately there’s been a huge cost too. And the feminist movement rarely if ever talk about it. Thank you
YES, you get it. There is NOTHING wrong with men. We are the same as we have always been. There is something very wrong with our CULTURE, which is now written by females, because there are no fathers in the house. And our boys and young men are suffering from JUST THAT, and have been for decades now. Our boys and young men are suffering and lost, because they have been raised by single Moms, who have NO IDEA how to turn their boys into MEN. Why should they? How can we expect them to? This is our #1 societal problem.
The same people who portray male strengths as flaws treat female flaws as strengths.
It's not misunderstood, its deliberately twisted. Frankly, I've had enough of this insanity. Thank God for the patriarchy, they are the true protectors of women and children. I thank God for my husband, my brother, my grandson, my great grandson. To all the feminist that started this nonsense about toxic masculinity, pound sand. The only toxic behavior I've witnessed come from the toxic feminist. Frankly, I've had enough.