The Way Men Heal: Members’ Companion Edition
Part One: Before We Begin
Welcome to a new series for my paid subscribers.
Over the coming months, we’ll walk together through The Way Men Heal, one section at a time. I’ll reproduce the original text of the book just as it was published. Then, after each installment, I’ll share stories from my life, newer research, and reflections that have emerged since the book was completed.
Think of this as sitting together as we work through the book. The book remains the book. But around it, I’ll be adding some of the experiences, memories, and conversations that shaped it.
Before we begin, though, I’d like to introduce you to a remarkable man.
Father William Wendt
When I finally found my first counseling job after graduate school, I had no idea how fortunate I was.
After nearly a year of searching, I was hired by a counseling center for death and dying in Washington, D.C. The center was directed by Father William Wendt.
Bill was unlike anyone I had ever known.
Before becoming a Episcopal priest, he had been a fighter pilot during World War II. He carried himself with the quiet confidence of someone who had seen both life and death up close. His voice was deep, gravelly, and unmistakable.
Many mornings we would pass each other in the hallway.
Without breaking stride, Bill would look at me and say in that wonderful gruff voice,
“Permission to grieve... permission to die... carry on.”
Then he’d continue on his way.
For years I simply smiled and kept walking.