I am currently writing narrative essays featuring fathers who have experienced exclusion from their children's lives – and those close to them – to shine a light on stories that are largely ignored. Increasingly, fathers are approaching me to help tell their stories, which I find encouraging, humbling and eye-opening.
One of the most consistent themes I encounter is the use of false allegations of abuse during family court proceedings. I've now heard versions of the same story from fathers in the UK, Australia, USA and Trinidad and Tobago. The pattern is striking.
What shocks me is not simply that some mothers make false allegations in an attempt to sever the relationship between children and their fathers. It is the extent to which institutions that should be committed to evidence and due process appear willing to accept such claims with little scrutiny when they align with prevailing assumptions about fathers, mothers, and family breakdown.
The common experience is fathers reporting that their claims, evidence and perspectives were not given fair consideration by family courts or child welfare agencies … and that is putting it mildly. Indeed, often the abusive parent is the mother, but she flips the script and the court takes her side, without evidence. Yet we refuse to accept this reality across Western societies.
This is a sensitive subject and genuine abuse must always be taken seriously – whoever perpetrates it. At the same time, if our starting point is not a careful commitment to truth, evidence and due process, we will continue to fail children and families.
And make no mistake about it: we are failing miserably. Who, anywhere, claims that family court works? I’m yet to hear that one!!
Children deserve meaningful relationships with both parents as the automatic default following relationship breakdown between their parents. Public discussion of these issues should be guided by facts rather than assumptions or ideology.
Children need and deserve the love, guidance and presence of their fathers. No reasonable person would object to 50/50 shared parenting.
If we are serious about serving the best interests of children, we must be willing to confront uncomfortable realities and challenge the ideological assumptions that can blind institutions to injustice.
Yes. Great that you are compiling the stories of fathers who have faced this. That is a very important task. We can cite stats till we are blue in the face but a few real stories of the agony and the identity assassinations that these men live through can change minds. The family courts are a sham. Who ever gave anyone the power to remove a biological parent from their children without reason. It is patently absurd and evil. It is a set up. Feminists have spread their ideology via "support" people and being the ones who are "teaching" the workshops that are required for judges, therapists, experts etc. It is a total set up of misandrist evil. What do they teach? Believe all women, of course. That and they threaten anyone who might endanger the woman and children which weaponizes the false accusations. Judges are petrified to put the man who is publicly accused of abuse into the childresn's lives. The judges play it safe and the man gets fooked.
The problem is that everything you described is going exactly as planned by the governments/feminists, with a ton of simps to back up their actions and stab real men in the back.
When the system itself takes on the role of accuser, judge, enabler - when it arrays itself against a vulnerable individual, it becomes overwhelming, and many cannot see hope.
My 20 years of lived experience is the truth I bear witness to - not some feminist, misandric BS..
So sad. I don’t have children in this dynamic myself, but I’ve been a stepfather to three children whose mother — my wife — is a master of blame-shifting, projection, and victimhood. My turn now. And you’re so right: the services largely ignore the evidence, and the man is left to deal with the abuse, the slow death, and the stripping of his soul. It’s a very lonely place to be
The pain is real. The falsely accused lose their reputations, their jobs, their families. Some have terrible ptsd. I know one man who legally changed his name so the negative press wouldn't follow him. The book Butterfly by Orion Monroe, based on a true story, explores the impact of a false rape charge on a young man. I know quite a few people whose men have been pushed into plea deals by a system that just doesn't care. Even if you win, the arrest never goes away.
Look at Brett Cavanaugh, he still has never been cleared in the public mind, even though it his accuser was contradictory and seemed to be lying. She walked away with almost $1 million in GoFundMe money. Meanwhile, kavenaugh is still used as an example of corrupt Supreme Court justice nominees
Male suicide is a tragic topic. Why do men kill themselves 4 times as often as women, yet women attempt suicide 3 times more often than men? Here is a sexual selection theory on why this is.
Human children are pretty helpless for several years. Mothering them is a huge chore. Mothers needed help raising their children. They got this help from fathers. Women needed to find men who were strong, smart, protective, rich in resources and willing to share. Women ignored men who had no resources, or worse, men who needed help themselves. These men would be no help in raising children. Women discovered a way to help find the rich, sharing men---a woman would complain and would see which men would run to her aid. These men became prime prospects for mates. Men who complained or needed help themselves were ruled out as mates. Women quickly learned how to complain. And men quickly learned that if they wanted sex, they were not allowed to complain. As a result, women are allowed to complain and to receive help. Men are not allowed to complain and therefore do not receive help. Women ATTEMPT suicide in order to receive help. Men COMMIT suicide because they can’t ask for help.
False rape accusations against men happen frequently---much more than the 2% figure spousted by feminists. The best way I know to show this is to please consider all of the high-profile rape cases lately that have turned out to be false or very suspicious, e.g., the Duke lacrosse team; the Rolling Stone University of Virginia gang rape; the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case; the Brian Banks case; the Jian Ghomeshi case; the Rockville High School bathroom rape; the case of Jordan Johnson highlighted in Jon Krakauer's book, Missoula; three of the four cases highlighted in the movie The Hunting Ground---Andrea Pino, Jameis Winston and Brandon Winston; Lena Dunham's accusation; the Nikki Yovino case, Judy Munro-Leighton’s false accusation against Supreme Court Justice Brett Cavanaugh, student Mustafa Ururyar, Vancouver Canuck Jacob Virtanen, University of Ottawa hockey players Guillaume Donovan and David Foucher, NFL punter Matt Araiza, Dodger pitcher Trevor Bauer, Yale basketball captain Jack Montague, five members of the Canadian World Junior Hockey Team, Australian artist Anthony Lister, Australian actor Craig McLachlan, and the case brought by mattress girl, Emma Sulkowicz. Could there be so many false high-profile cases if false accusations are extremely rare?
The sad truth about false accusations...which is should be noted are FAR MORE COMMON than actual sexual harassment and rape are fully known to be such BY WOMEN. You know that the great lie is an open policy of women toward men when you see how women respond to the idea of protections for due process or those who speak up about false accusations. Those people are treated WORSE than accused rapists suffering the same consequences and harms as the Duke lacrosse boys with the full weight of cancel culture being brought to bear on them. The irony is that feminists, and sadly most women in general, is they are far more concerned with attacking those who question false accusers than they are with assisting actual rape victims. What should the response be of men to this?
1. The accused deserves the presumption of innocence and if that presumption is in any way violated (as in police planting of evidence in a murder case) the case should be dismissed as a false accusation with prejudice.
2. Any punishment directed at a falsely accused man that has not been adjudicated in a court of law should be treated as sexual harassment and dealt with as such.
3. Any person who aids and abets a false accuser should be charged with the same crime as the false accuser and receive the appropriate social stigma and legal sanctions.
4. Men should refuse to support female candidates for public office or leadership positions if they preach the "believe all women" lie.
5. Men should refuse to work with women unless employers guarantee the right to due process and demonstrate that this will be enforced.
Men must insist on this and refuse to cooperate with women on any issue unless these conditions are met.
Cop was sleeping with my ex sister in law and my ex wife. Same cop was sleeping with the ex wife of a neighbour who's wife shot him also not charged with attempted murder.
Everyone should remember that the members of the Duke Lacrosse team were a very unlikable bunch. Also, most of them would not have been at Duke University except for being athletes and being admitted on the athletes discount.
From Google AI: Duke lacrosse player Collin Finnerty was arrested and tried in Washington, D.C., in 2006 for a separate, unprovoked assault on two bar patrons in Georgetown. He was tried in D.C. Superior Court, convicted of misdemeanor assault, and ultimately sentenced to six months of probation. While the Washington, D.C. arrest and trial garnered separate media attention, it frequently intersected with the national news cycle because Finnerty was concurrently one of the three players falsely accused and indicted in the 2006 Duke University lacrosse team rape case.
Also from Google AI:
"Jock" Stereotypes: The media frenzy fueled long-standing cultural stereotypes of men's lacrosse players as wealthy, entitled, and exclusionary elitists.
Community Sentiments: While the criminal charges were completely bogus, the public was quick to believe the allegations because of the team's behavior and rowdy party culture. Today, Medium explores how this case cemented a negative, lingering stigma associated with men's lacrosse programs.
Also, David Evans was involved in an SAT cheating scandal at the Landon School
The museum of misandry will have a major exhibition of this case.
Otto Weiniger claimed women have biological mendacity.
Which explains their unbelievable rates of false witnesses.
The "de Lu Lu" and "Cray Cray" of their baby talk in female social media.
The peace and reconciliation process for victims of feminism will be comprehensive.
Billions of babies aborted before abortion puts all other crimes against humanity into shade.
Thanks for posting this, Tom.
I am currently writing narrative essays featuring fathers who have experienced exclusion from their children's lives – and those close to them – to shine a light on stories that are largely ignored. Increasingly, fathers are approaching me to help tell their stories, which I find encouraging, humbling and eye-opening.
One of the most consistent themes I encounter is the use of false allegations of abuse during family court proceedings. I've now heard versions of the same story from fathers in the UK, Australia, USA and Trinidad and Tobago. The pattern is striking.
What shocks me is not simply that some mothers make false allegations in an attempt to sever the relationship between children and their fathers. It is the extent to which institutions that should be committed to evidence and due process appear willing to accept such claims with little scrutiny when they align with prevailing assumptions about fathers, mothers, and family breakdown.
The common experience is fathers reporting that their claims, evidence and perspectives were not given fair consideration by family courts or child welfare agencies … and that is putting it mildly. Indeed, often the abusive parent is the mother, but she flips the script and the court takes her side, without evidence. Yet we refuse to accept this reality across Western societies.
This is a sensitive subject and genuine abuse must always be taken seriously – whoever perpetrates it. At the same time, if our starting point is not a careful commitment to truth, evidence and due process, we will continue to fail children and families.
And make no mistake about it: we are failing miserably. Who, anywhere, claims that family court works? I’m yet to hear that one!!
Children deserve meaningful relationships with both parents as the automatic default following relationship breakdown between their parents. Public discussion of these issues should be guided by facts rather than assumptions or ideology.
Children need and deserve the love, guidance and presence of their fathers. No reasonable person would object to 50/50 shared parenting.
If we are serious about serving the best interests of children, we must be willing to confront uncomfortable realities and challenge the ideological assumptions that can blind institutions to injustice.
Yes. Great that you are compiling the stories of fathers who have faced this. That is a very important task. We can cite stats till we are blue in the face but a few real stories of the agony and the identity assassinations that these men live through can change minds. The family courts are a sham. Who ever gave anyone the power to remove a biological parent from their children without reason. It is patently absurd and evil. It is a set up. Feminists have spread their ideology via "support" people and being the ones who are "teaching" the workshops that are required for judges, therapists, experts etc. It is a total set up of misandrist evil. What do they teach? Believe all women, of course. That and they threaten anyone who might endanger the woman and children which weaponizes the false accusations. Judges are petrified to put the man who is publicly accused of abuse into the childresn's lives. The judges play it safe and the man gets fooked.
The problem is that everything you described is going exactly as planned by the governments/feminists, with a ton of simps to back up their actions and stab real men in the back.
When the system itself takes on the role of accuser, judge, enabler - when it arrays itself against a vulnerable individual, it becomes overwhelming, and many cannot see hope.
My 20 years of lived experience is the truth I bear witness to - not some feminist, misandric BS..
So sad. I don’t have children in this dynamic myself, but I’ve been a stepfather to three children whose mother — my wife — is a master of blame-shifting, projection, and victimhood. My turn now. And you’re so right: the services largely ignore the evidence, and the man is left to deal with the abuse, the slow death, and the stripping of his soul. It’s a very lonely place to be
False rape is a major crime and things will never change until it is treated as such. These women have taken a life and these men deserve justice.
Yes, it would help if they would start giving out long sentences to those found guilty.
Scientifically we should probably say they do give out long sentences for false witness.
But then apply the gamma bias adjustments.
In the US criminal courts, it's 10% post sentencing increase for African-Americans. It's 63% post sentencing uplift for men.
I'm the UK criminal courts, the University of Leeds found women receive a 200-300% sentencing reduction after conviction versus men.
If this isn't a two tier subversion of justice, I don't know what is.
It's a strong signal of female supremacy.
If would help if they would even prosecute it...
The pain is real. The falsely accused lose their reputations, their jobs, their families. Some have terrible ptsd. I know one man who legally changed his name so the negative press wouldn't follow him. The book Butterfly by Orion Monroe, based on a true story, explores the impact of a false rape charge on a young man. I know quite a few people whose men have been pushed into plea deals by a system that just doesn't care. Even if you win, the arrest never goes away.
Shocking outcomes, lives destroyed. Men, children, good women & society all pay the price.
Thank you! False Allegations are devastating and certainly needless, preventable trauma to millions of children.
The WHOLE point of a false accusation is to totally DESTROY a man's life and society allows it to happen because men do not matter in western society
Agree.
Feminism is guilty of committing the very crimes they accuse men of doing, Sexism, discrimination, double standards, misandry, lies, etc.
Indeed this is true. i would add arrogance and wanting power over others.
Thank you Tom for all your really impactful work in the men's movement!!
Thank you Charles.
FOR MORE INFORMATION: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_rape_hoax
Look at Brett Cavanaugh, he still has never been cleared in the public mind, even though it his accuser was contradictory and seemed to be lying. She walked away with almost $1 million in GoFundMe money. Meanwhile, kavenaugh is still used as an example of corrupt Supreme Court justice nominees
Male suicide is a tragic topic. Why do men kill themselves 4 times as often as women, yet women attempt suicide 3 times more often than men? Here is a sexual selection theory on why this is.
Human children are pretty helpless for several years. Mothering them is a huge chore. Mothers needed help raising their children. They got this help from fathers. Women needed to find men who were strong, smart, protective, rich in resources and willing to share. Women ignored men who had no resources, or worse, men who needed help themselves. These men would be no help in raising children. Women discovered a way to help find the rich, sharing men---a woman would complain and would see which men would run to her aid. These men became prime prospects for mates. Men who complained or needed help themselves were ruled out as mates. Women quickly learned how to complain. And men quickly learned that if they wanted sex, they were not allowed to complain. As a result, women are allowed to complain and to receive help. Men are not allowed to complain and therefore do not receive help. Women ATTEMPT suicide in order to receive help. Men COMMIT suicide because they can’t ask for help.
False rape accusations against men happen frequently---much more than the 2% figure spousted by feminists. The best way I know to show this is to please consider all of the high-profile rape cases lately that have turned out to be false or very suspicious, e.g., the Duke lacrosse team; the Rolling Stone University of Virginia gang rape; the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case; the Brian Banks case; the Jian Ghomeshi case; the Rockville High School bathroom rape; the case of Jordan Johnson highlighted in Jon Krakauer's book, Missoula; three of the four cases highlighted in the movie The Hunting Ground---Andrea Pino, Jameis Winston and Brandon Winston; Lena Dunham's accusation; the Nikki Yovino case, Judy Munro-Leighton’s false accusation against Supreme Court Justice Brett Cavanaugh, student Mustafa Ururyar, Vancouver Canuck Jacob Virtanen, University of Ottawa hockey players Guillaume Donovan and David Foucher, NFL punter Matt Araiza, Dodger pitcher Trevor Bauer, Yale basketball captain Jack Montague, five members of the Canadian World Junior Hockey Team, Australian artist Anthony Lister, Australian actor Craig McLachlan, and the case brought by mattress girl, Emma Sulkowicz. Could there be so many false high-profile cases if false accusations are extremely rare?
The sad truth about false accusations...which is should be noted are FAR MORE COMMON than actual sexual harassment and rape are fully known to be such BY WOMEN. You know that the great lie is an open policy of women toward men when you see how women respond to the idea of protections for due process or those who speak up about false accusations. Those people are treated WORSE than accused rapists suffering the same consequences and harms as the Duke lacrosse boys with the full weight of cancel culture being brought to bear on them. The irony is that feminists, and sadly most women in general, is they are far more concerned with attacking those who question false accusers than they are with assisting actual rape victims. What should the response be of men to this?
1. The accused deserves the presumption of innocence and if that presumption is in any way violated (as in police planting of evidence in a murder case) the case should be dismissed as a false accusation with prejudice.
2. Any punishment directed at a falsely accused man that has not been adjudicated in a court of law should be treated as sexual harassment and dealt with as such.
3. Any person who aids and abets a false accuser should be charged with the same crime as the false accuser and receive the appropriate social stigma and legal sanctions.
4. Men should refuse to support female candidates for public office or leadership positions if they preach the "believe all women" lie.
5. Men should refuse to work with women unless employers guarantee the right to due process and demonstrate that this will be enforced.
Men must insist on this and refuse to cooperate with women on any issue unless these conditions are met.
Ex wife tried to kill me.
Cop said he wouldn't charge her.
Cop was sleeping with my ex sister in law and my ex wife. Same cop was sleeping with the ex wife of a neighbour who's wife shot him also not charged with attempted murder.
Such is Queensland Police
Everyone should remember that the members of the Duke Lacrosse team were a very unlikable bunch. Also, most of them would not have been at Duke University except for being athletes and being admitted on the athletes discount.
Where's the evidence for that claim? Everything I have heard about these young men is very positive.
From Google AI: Duke lacrosse player Collin Finnerty was arrested and tried in Washington, D.C., in 2006 for a separate, unprovoked assault on two bar patrons in Georgetown. He was tried in D.C. Superior Court, convicted of misdemeanor assault, and ultimately sentenced to six months of probation. While the Washington, D.C. arrest and trial garnered separate media attention, it frequently intersected with the national news cycle because Finnerty was concurrently one of the three players falsely accused and indicted in the 2006 Duke University lacrosse team rape case.
Also from Google AI:
"Jock" Stereotypes: The media frenzy fueled long-standing cultural stereotypes of men's lacrosse players as wealthy, entitled, and exclusionary elitists.
Community Sentiments: While the criminal charges were completely bogus, the public was quick to believe the allegations because of the team's behavior and rowdy party culture. Today, Medium explores how this case cemented a negative, lingering stigma associated with men's lacrosse programs.
Also, David Evans was involved in an SAT cheating scandal at the Landon School