Thanks for a concise and insightful post. I had a few thoughts in defense of competition. As a retired man who took up boxing, I have found physical competition bracing and instructive. Competition is more than showing which man is top dog and making it easy for women to choose. Agreed, it is that. But competition is also about forming your tribe—finding out who is reliable, hard-working, and dedicated.
To compete, you have to show up, train, make progress, be prepared to come in second, and also get ready for the next fight. Losing a game or a round can be a lesson in humility: try not to lose, but if you do, be graceful about it. Many boxers who lose thought that they had won the fight; when they look at a tape of their rounds, however, they usually see what they need to do better. Competition helps them improve. As a professor, some of my grant applications were rejected. I studied the reviews and next time around wrote better proposals.
Boys need to learn to turn defeat into victory. For many young boxers, sports competition is good preparation for fighting for their ground as men. In school, 75% of their teachers are women (US Dept. of Education, 2020). Their culture tells them that women are wonderful, girls powerful, boys bad. Boys need a tribe; competition helps them form one.
So true Allen. And competition can also give men a mission. Struggling as a team working towards succeeding in a mission of importance is instrumental in developing the mature masculine.
Love that you're here on Substack, Tom! My book, Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World that Misunderstands Men, comes out early in Apr. (You're mentioned in there - in a section about how boys experience/cope w emotions differently). Advance reading copies are now available. Would you like one? (If you think it's a good fit, I'd be happy to do a Q & A w you as well)
Hi Jennifer! Would love to see a copy. Q&A would be good. Also, if you want to write a guest post here that would be great. I didn't know you were on substack. Thanks for alerting me! Will recommend you substack.
Thanks for a concise and insightful post. I had a few thoughts in defense of competition. As a retired man who took up boxing, I have found physical competition bracing and instructive. Competition is more than showing which man is top dog and making it easy for women to choose. Agreed, it is that. But competition is also about forming your tribe—finding out who is reliable, hard-working, and dedicated.
To compete, you have to show up, train, make progress, be prepared to come in second, and also get ready for the next fight. Losing a game or a round can be a lesson in humility: try not to lose, but if you do, be graceful about it. Many boxers who lose thought that they had won the fight; when they look at a tape of their rounds, however, they usually see what they need to do better. Competition helps them improve. As a professor, some of my grant applications were rejected. I studied the reviews and next time around wrote better proposals.
Boys need to learn to turn defeat into victory. For many young boxers, sports competition is good preparation for fighting for their ground as men. In school, 75% of their teachers are women (US Dept. of Education, 2020). Their culture tells them that women are wonderful, girls powerful, boys bad. Boys need a tribe; competition helps them form one.
So true Allen. And competition can also give men a mission. Struggling as a team working towards succeeding in a mission of importance is instrumental in developing the mature masculine.
I want to urge anyone reading this to check out Allen's substack. https://allenfrantzen.substack.com/ I think you will find it a place that explores many ideas including masculinity in many aspects including boxing. Allen wrote a fascinating book on boxing and masculinity that I loved. Check him out., Here's a link to his book https://www.amazon.com/Boxing-Masculinity-Fighting-Find-Whole-ebook/dp/B0BGJN797L
Love that you're here on Substack, Tom! My book, Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World that Misunderstands Men, comes out early in Apr. (You're mentioned in there - in a section about how boys experience/cope w emotions differently). Advance reading copies are now available. Would you like one? (If you think it's a good fit, I'd be happy to do a Q & A w you as well)
Hi Jennifer! Would love to see a copy. Q&A would be good. Also, if you want to write a guest post here that would be great. I didn't know you were on substack. Thanks for alerting me! Will recommend you substack.
Yep, this is me - https://buildingboys.substack.com/
Can you pls email me your contact info? (I'm at jenniferlwfink@gmail.com) I thought I had your email address but couldn't find it...