Awkward men are often sincere men; they can't bear to perform the fakery that might make them seem more smooth, the artificiality that might make them seem more 'natural.' Hail to the awkward men; they bring salutary humility and honesty; they make the world go 'round!
I am short (5’7”) and was shy and awkward for the first 35 years of my life. I had kissed two girls at that stage, of whom one was my (then) wife.
But as I matured, I grew into my body, and my shyness ebbed away and I learned who I am and where I ”fit”. I will never be tall, but I can be smart, witty and “together”.
My point is that awkwardness need not be a terminal state; all of us learn and grow, and we all have to make the best of the cards nature deals us. I look back at 20s and 30s Paul and he is the person who made who I am today.
But I am no longer awkward. I am not that person any more. If any men reading this self identify as awkward, I urge you to forgive yourself and challenge yourself. You will not always be “awkward” and when you transmogrify from tadpole to butterfly you may be the better for your journey.
Alas, the pejorative taunt of 'incel' is gaining currency whenever men speak about their feelings. It is a silencing tactic, of course, and all we can do is to engage and celebrate, rather than scorn and ridicule. I have observed how some young men cannot maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds. This is one indicator, and may be caused by many things.
I spoke to a young man who could not keep eye contact and told him of a (mythical) acquaintance who tried to keep eye contact a little longer each time after they looked away. I mentioned how eye contact is important to build trust and rapport. I mentioned Mehrabian and the myths surrounding his work. The conversation was awkward, and who knows what impact it had? I don't. But 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.'
More good advice about men that will, in all likelihood, be ignored. I remember when the 'strong silent type' was considered attractive and women understood 'neediness' as monogamous love and devotion--and cultivated it.
Awkward men are often sincere men; they can't bear to perform the fakery that might make them seem more smooth, the artificiality that might make them seem more 'natural.' Hail to the awkward men; they bring salutary humility and honesty; they make the world go 'round!
Aw, gosh. I don't know what to say to that.
I am short (5’7”) and was shy and awkward for the first 35 years of my life. I had kissed two girls at that stage, of whom one was my (then) wife.
But as I matured, I grew into my body, and my shyness ebbed away and I learned who I am and where I ”fit”. I will never be tall, but I can be smart, witty and “together”.
My point is that awkwardness need not be a terminal state; all of us learn and grow, and we all have to make the best of the cards nature deals us. I look back at 20s and 30s Paul and he is the person who made who I am today.
But I am no longer awkward. I am not that person any more. If any men reading this self identify as awkward, I urge you to forgive yourself and challenge yourself. You will not always be “awkward” and when you transmogrify from tadpole to butterfly you may be the better for your journey.
Ideally, the awkwardness can be minimized but compassion and understanding for other young awkwards, particularly men, can remain.
I agree.
Alas, the pejorative taunt of 'incel' is gaining currency whenever men speak about their feelings. It is a silencing tactic, of course, and all we can do is to engage and celebrate, rather than scorn and ridicule. I have observed how some young men cannot maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds. This is one indicator, and may be caused by many things.
I spoke to a young man who could not keep eye contact and told him of a (mythical) acquaintance who tried to keep eye contact a little longer each time after they looked away. I mentioned how eye contact is important to build trust and rapport. I mentioned Mehrabian and the myths surrounding his work. The conversation was awkward, and who knows what impact it had? I don't. But 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.'
Excellent! Signed, an awkward man.
Thank you Eisso Post for explaining myself to me.
More good advice about men that will, in all likelihood, be ignored. I remember when the 'strong silent type' was considered attractive and women understood 'neediness' as monogamous love and devotion--and cultivated it.