A great discussion, very clear. I especially noted evidence of the Disney films as one source (among many) that teaches women to bully, wheedle, guilt-trip, lie. Women need women more than men need men--that's a fundamental insight. It points to the weaknesses of the dynamic of dependence. I've been in men's groups that focused a lot on training men to need other men and in this sense to be more like women in their group affect. I could not accept this. Men need to be trained instead to be strong and independent and, like good boxers, to be prepared to switch from defense to offense and back on short notice. What you've got here on relational aggression, Tom, is what many men I know need to hear. Sad, sobering, but extremely important. Thanks!
Thanks very much for your comments Allen. Totally agree that men need to learn about this type of aggression. They just don't see it coming and have no defenses ready. They are used to blocking punches...but this one is invisible which makes it very tough to defend. I did a series on 7 types of relational aggression (nagging, tantrums, sarcasm, silent treatment etc) and offered ideas about how to respond. I will be putting those up eventually.
Looking at feminism and how feminists act, theres lots of relational agression directed at men.
And this agression takes it’s toll. The current talk about the boy crisis can be seen as this barrage of relational agression having large scale impact on boys and men. It affects mens connectedness to society, mens psychological health and probably also mens average life length. It’s profoundly destructive.
I'm beginning to wonder if fear of female rejection is an enabler in this kind of aggression. If an toddler is rejected by its mother there was a time when that would equal a death sentence. You sometimes see children being told off harshly by their mothers, who are sometimes angry, and the child starts wailing and sobbing uncontrollably out of proportion to the telling off. That seems like fear and panic to me. Some sort of instinctive panic in the child that it will be sent out into the cold to die.
Women often use their dissaproval as a means to get what they want. If a man isn't acting on her requests she can always say 'a real man would do it', knowing that most men will do an instinctive 180 turn around and act on her request. Especially if it said loudly in public for others to witness the rejection. The removal of female approval can be a real threat - especially to men who don't want to be a genetic dead end and would like to have children.
School-girl bullying uses the removal of approval- where the clique of mean girls can turn their backs on whoever they target and make it clear that she isn't wanted.
There are certainly many men who are desperate for female approval - simps. And many men who are afraid of losing it, namely politicians. Sadly many men will gladly throw other men under the bus to earn female approval.
These are just my musings. Any improvements on them welcome.
Why can't you just accept that women are made of sugar and spice and all things nice Tom? It's true, honestly, my mum told me, and she would never have lied about a thing like that.
Thank you Tom! This is something psychologist have know for a long time. As you eluded to. I have heard so many stories over the years of women ganging up on another women in the workplace. Usually one or two bullies who intimidate the group. I really want to find a way to fight for mens rights but not finding any groups that actively try to counter the feminist narrative. I've subscribed to your channel now. Any other suggestions?
A great discussion, very clear. I especially noted evidence of the Disney films as one source (among many) that teaches women to bully, wheedle, guilt-trip, lie. Women need women more than men need men--that's a fundamental insight. It points to the weaknesses of the dynamic of dependence. I've been in men's groups that focused a lot on training men to need other men and in this sense to be more like women in their group affect. I could not accept this. Men need to be trained instead to be strong and independent and, like good boxers, to be prepared to switch from defense to offense and back on short notice. What you've got here on relational aggression, Tom, is what many men I know need to hear. Sad, sobering, but extremely important. Thanks!
Thanks very much for your comments Allen. Totally agree that men need to learn about this type of aggression. They just don't see it coming and have no defenses ready. They are used to blocking punches...but this one is invisible which makes it very tough to defend. I did a series on 7 types of relational aggression (nagging, tantrums, sarcasm, silent treatment etc) and offered ideas about how to respond. I will be putting those up eventually.
Looking forward to seeing that. Do you need any assistance?
Thanks for the offer. What sort of assistance might you want to offer?
Do you have an email or method for me to respond semi- privately
Does your email have "" in the middle of the name?
Yes
Looking at feminism and how feminists act, theres lots of relational agression directed at men.
And this agression takes it’s toll. The current talk about the boy crisis can be seen as this barrage of relational agression having large scale impact on boys and men. It affects mens connectedness to society, mens psychological health and probably also mens average life length. It’s profoundly destructive.
Well said. And no one sees it.
I'm beginning to wonder if fear of female rejection is an enabler in this kind of aggression. If an toddler is rejected by its mother there was a time when that would equal a death sentence. You sometimes see children being told off harshly by their mothers, who are sometimes angry, and the child starts wailing and sobbing uncontrollably out of proportion to the telling off. That seems like fear and panic to me. Some sort of instinctive panic in the child that it will be sent out into the cold to die.
Women often use their dissaproval as a means to get what they want. If a man isn't acting on her requests she can always say 'a real man would do it', knowing that most men will do an instinctive 180 turn around and act on her request. Especially if it said loudly in public for others to witness the rejection. The removal of female approval can be a real threat - especially to men who don't want to be a genetic dead end and would like to have children.
School-girl bullying uses the removal of approval- where the clique of mean girls can turn their backs on whoever they target and make it clear that she isn't wanted.
There are certainly many men who are desperate for female approval - simps. And many men who are afraid of losing it, namely politicians. Sadly many men will gladly throw other men under the bus to earn female approval.
These are just my musings. Any improvements on them welcome.
Well said!
Why can't you just accept that women are made of sugar and spice and all things nice Tom? It's true, honestly, my mum told me, and she would never have lied about a thing like that.
Maybe they meant Sweet'N Lo? lol
Thank you Tom! This is something psychologist have know for a long time. As you eluded to. I have heard so many stories over the years of women ganging up on another women in the workplace. Usually one or two bullies who intimidate the group. I really want to find a way to fight for mens rights but not finding any groups that actively try to counter the feminist narrative. I've subscribed to your channel now. Any other suggestions?
Thanks for subscribing Half Newfie. Glad you are with us. Are you familiar with the NCFM? You can find them here https://ncfm.org/