I have an idea. All women register with a service like Uber, but instead of driving distance, it measures “emotional labor.” And before women start toiling, such as listening to their kids when the bird died, they activate the app, and it automatically hits the man’s account, and he pays for this “labor” by the minute directly from his bank account.
There can also be a biometric angle — she puts her fingers on the glass of her phone and it measures the intensity of the “labor” and there is a surcharge. Also, if she is pregnant and “goes into labor,” she should be paid extra. But if she is given an epidural, the fee does not go down. There is actually an upcharge.
Also this “mental load” bullshit is a direct outgrowth of “the personal is political” a la Redstockings Collective and Carol Hanisch. No matter what, it’s political. Everything from the dirty dishes to voter registration.
I once mixed it up with her…on the topic of masturbation. (She lives not far from me and I always write to these people if I can find them.)
My angle was, if the personal is so political, then masturbation is the most political sex of all. She refuted this, essentially claiming, no, it’s just jilling off. Then I wrote to Betty Dodson and accidentally copied in Hanisch, and said, “She doesn’t even understand her own theory.” It was a great mini-moment in feminist history.
Last fall I wrote a letter to the author of a Washington Post article about "emotional labor", aka "mental load" (https://stephenbond.substack.com/p/a-letter-to-post-contributor-rose?utm_source=publication-search). I quoted one reddit commenter who aptly summarized this made-up condition: “When you have to make up new concepts to describe the way that you're actually a victim, you're pretty much making it clear that your life isn't all that bad.”
That feminists will make such absurd claims with a straight face is more proof that feminism has long since lost its way.
Hi all, just wondering if this series is available on Spotify? That's where I do most of my listening, and I'm very interested to see what the three of you have to say on the idea of the mental load, which I've watched go mainstream among mother's in the last five years.
I listen to a good argument against having any maturity leave, and it is basically that all the single men (and women) are supporting families by taking lower wages the if business paid everyone a little more, and other less business did the same across the country so perhaps mothers can raise the children and father earns enough to support them both.
The assumes the fantasy that business would pay more with that money and not likely unless example made, hang in pubic the first 3 business's violating owners and all the adults in their families. Do every 6 months with fireworks and circuits rides for some extra money for a little liberty.
In general few women in workforce are worth their salt, I want to come into work and get done things, no drama, and no abuse in secrete - Happen to me a lot and I suffered because all the years and work and study with women and men I never ran into such evil man hating slimy horrors, and over the years they murdered my joy, and suffering all the time I binged drank until I was barely conscious to get some relief.
So with parental leave, they are not pulling their weight and likely of not I would have to suck-it up and add another person's workload - so 7 days a week instead of 6?
My experience at that research lab and then I went to a engineering firm and a few years in I had to shuffle work to secretary, and get back to work, and what a whiny piece of .. and eventually I repeated that the president of marketing told me to give it to you, and walked away.
.. well 1/2 week later an older women that worked on the floor and I talked with from time-to-time warned me that the secretary was spreading really ugly roomers, and management started acting a little distant and weird, and I stayed on for a while after and I could tell not he same
So every time I hear of a school or workplace shooting I hope and wonder if they killed only those Satanic vile poisonous Witches - and maybe a few managers and owners if they were aware and would not correct it .. because if I went to HR department they would assume I at fault and she make-up a story and her other women friend would lie and support her and then I would need to shoot them all - not in vengeance but to protect everyone that would be near her for .. 40 years?
Maybe you do not get the logic - it is like this, say a women or minority man smacks we when I not expect it, it would be normal to strike back, now 911 called and police on the way and as a White man I will be tortured by legal system and media, so least I can do is start punching them in the throat until they can never trap anyone else, again.
If we could trust in courts that would be one thing, but a family court took my son. Is there enough gov powerful in all the States and Federal gov, or need to find more - the most fatherhood-children destroying EU regions .. and the wolf gest too fat to run.
Why should the court buildings all not be locked and burned down?
And find 3 fathers or grandfathers that had raised their children well, as most know in small each in the small communities. Each court needs 3.
I suppose only pulling up those torturous memories for a peek and, .. Whoa! The Lion is here. and thinks 3+ Billons dead is a Just start - 3+ Billions is an est. of worldwide babies tortured to death in my lifetime.
Le the nukes fly! and surviving men can kick teeth out of heads for mind-rapers and if no one comes forward then every post-menopause woman is removed. If they can't keep those women in line, the wolfs can have them. And every woman will count the few years until they might need to run faster than the wolfs, and so raise those younger and children right.
The town with band and picnic celebrating the removals of those incompetent eaters and shifting of homes for some - to give married couples room for babies.
I wonder, if she is good looking and willing - should the Master honor their family with a baby warrior-knight and possible future Master?
Great conversation from all of you! Once things become adversarial instead of collaborative, the resentment becomes the issue. Unfortunately, journaling was what we were prescribed. I used to commute for about 3hrs a day and was told I was lucky to have the ‘me time’.
But there's no going back to women being at home and taking the home responsibility. It's unaffordable for most people. Not working can be disadvantageous for women if he is a womaniser, a drunk, a gambler or violent.
This is a rendition from these three people of the fascist ideal of women in the kitchen with the kids.
I have been that woman. Birthing at home, breastfeeding for three years and growing food and cooking a healthy diet. I home educated them and I loved it. It was the happiest time of my life.
Unfortunately my husband was drinking and driving, ended up in prison and generally being irresponsible.
Now he is brain damaged from a stroke and I'm taking the physical and mental load for two lives. You bet I'm not happy and I'm resentful for sure. I have a diary with every day filled in so I can remember what the fuck we're doing. He doesn't own a diary.
I'd be Andrew Tate's sex slave if it meant I didn't have to make another decision and he did the driving.
Hi Juliette. It sounds like you’ve had a really rough time of it and I hope you find strength and courage to do what you need to do. I’m happy for your children, that they enjoyed the immense benefit of having a stay at home mother dedicated enough to make that sacrifice for them. There will always be bad people, women and men alike, we must do all in our power to choose a mate that will put the health and well being of the family first, like women should. I read stories like yours in the comment section time and again, and I wish women would manage to divorce the existence of some bad people with the entire concept of prioritizing the children’s needs - namely being present for them - over the risk that might mean to us in the future. Women must learn to better see where our own actions have contributed to carving out the path we find ourselves on.
No going back? Have to disagree there. Sort of. There are lots of ways to do this. My wife and I both went part time and this allowed us to have a parent at home for much of the time for our very young children. Did we have to budget carefully and not buy expensive stuff? yup. But did we have as you say "the happiest time of our lives?" Yup. An d the children benefitted to the max.
So sorry to hear about your husband and all the difficulties and kudos to you for all you do.
I have an idea. All women register with a service like Uber, but instead of driving distance, it measures “emotional labor.” And before women start toiling, such as listening to their kids when the bird died, they activate the app, and it automatically hits the man’s account, and he pays for this “labor” by the minute directly from his bank account.
There can also be a biometric angle — she puts her fingers on the glass of her phone and it measures the intensity of the “labor” and there is a surcharge. Also, if she is pregnant and “goes into labor,” she should be paid extra. But if she is given an epidural, the fee does not go down. There is actually an upcharge.
Indeed. The running meter for women's hardships never stops running. Men should pay!
Also this “mental load” bullshit is a direct outgrowth of “the personal is political” a la Redstockings Collective and Carol Hanisch. No matter what, it’s political. Everything from the dirty dishes to voter registration.
I once mixed it up with her…on the topic of masturbation. (She lives not far from me and I always write to these people if I can find them.)
My angle was, if the personal is so political, then masturbation is the most political sex of all. She refuted this, essentially claiming, no, it’s just jilling off. Then I wrote to Betty Dodson and accidentally copied in Hanisch, and said, “She doesn’t even understand her own theory.” It was a great mini-moment in feminist history.
Last fall I wrote a letter to the author of a Washington Post article about "emotional labor", aka "mental load" (https://stephenbond.substack.com/p/a-letter-to-post-contributor-rose?utm_source=publication-search). I quoted one reddit commenter who aptly summarized this made-up condition: “When you have to make up new concepts to describe the way that you're actually a victim, you're pretty much making it clear that your life isn't all that bad.”
That feminists will make such absurd claims with a straight face is more proof that feminism has long since lost its way.
Well said. The worst is that most people believe them. What a mess.
My wife does way more planning than me. But if I plan she disagrees and then replans. So I don’t plan. A lot of women like little details.
Indeed!
Hi all, just wondering if this series is available on Spotify? That's where I do most of my listening, and I'm very interested to see what the three of you have to say on the idea of the mental load, which I've watched go mainstream among mother's in the last five years.
I think this one is on apple and you can also use the substack app to listen. You can also download the transcript and read it if you wish.
I listen to a good argument against having any maturity leave, and it is basically that all the single men (and women) are supporting families by taking lower wages the if business paid everyone a little more, and other less business did the same across the country so perhaps mothers can raise the children and father earns enough to support them both.
The assumes the fantasy that business would pay more with that money and not likely unless example made, hang in pubic the first 3 business's violating owners and all the adults in their families. Do every 6 months with fireworks and circuits rides for some extra money for a little liberty.
In general few women in workforce are worth their salt, I want to come into work and get done things, no drama, and no abuse in secrete - Happen to me a lot and I suffered because all the years and work and study with women and men I never ran into such evil man hating slimy horrors, and over the years they murdered my joy, and suffering all the time I binged drank until I was barely conscious to get some relief.
So with parental leave, they are not pulling their weight and likely of not I would have to suck-it up and add another person's workload - so 7 days a week instead of 6?
My experience at that research lab and then I went to a engineering firm and a few years in I had to shuffle work to secretary, and get back to work, and what a whiny piece of .. and eventually I repeated that the president of marketing told me to give it to you, and walked away.
.. well 1/2 week later an older women that worked on the floor and I talked with from time-to-time warned me that the secretary was spreading really ugly roomers, and management started acting a little distant and weird, and I stayed on for a while after and I could tell not he same
So every time I hear of a school or workplace shooting I hope and wonder if they killed only those Satanic vile poisonous Witches - and maybe a few managers and owners if they were aware and would not correct it .. because if I went to HR department they would assume I at fault and she make-up a story and her other women friend would lie and support her and then I would need to shoot them all - not in vengeance but to protect everyone that would be near her for .. 40 years?
Maybe you do not get the logic - it is like this, say a women or minority man smacks we when I not expect it, it would be normal to strike back, now 911 called and police on the way and as a White man I will be tortured by legal system and media, so least I can do is start punching them in the throat until they can never trap anyone else, again.
If we could trust in courts that would be one thing, but a family court took my son. Is there enough gov powerful in all the States and Federal gov, or need to find more - the most fatherhood-children destroying EU regions .. and the wolf gest too fat to run.
Why should the court buildings all not be locked and burned down?
And find 3 fathers or grandfathers that had raised their children well, as most know in small each in the small communities. Each court needs 3.
I suppose only pulling up those torturous memories for a peek and, .. Whoa! The Lion is here. and thinks 3+ Billons dead is a Just start - 3+ Billions is an est. of worldwide babies tortured to death in my lifetime.
Le the nukes fly! and surviving men can kick teeth out of heads for mind-rapers and if no one comes forward then every post-menopause woman is removed. If they can't keep those women in line, the wolfs can have them. And every woman will count the few years until they might need to run faster than the wolfs, and so raise those younger and children right.
The town with band and picnic celebrating the removals of those incompetent eaters and shifting of homes for some - to give married couples room for babies.
I wonder, if she is good looking and willing - should the Master honor their family with a baby warrior-knight and possible future Master?
God Bless., Steve
Great conversation from all of you! Once things become adversarial instead of collaborative, the resentment becomes the issue. Unfortunately, journaling was what we were prescribed. I used to commute for about 3hrs a day and was told I was lucky to have the ‘me time’.
But there's no going back to women being at home and taking the home responsibility. It's unaffordable for most people. Not working can be disadvantageous for women if he is a womaniser, a drunk, a gambler or violent.
This is a rendition from these three people of the fascist ideal of women in the kitchen with the kids.
I have been that woman. Birthing at home, breastfeeding for three years and growing food and cooking a healthy diet. I home educated them and I loved it. It was the happiest time of my life.
Unfortunately my husband was drinking and driving, ended up in prison and generally being irresponsible.
Now he is brain damaged from a stroke and I'm taking the physical and mental load for two lives. You bet I'm not happy and I'm resentful for sure. I have a diary with every day filled in so I can remember what the fuck we're doing. He doesn't own a diary.
I'd be Andrew Tate's sex slave if it meant I didn't have to make another decision and he did the driving.
Hi Juliette. It sounds like you’ve had a really rough time of it and I hope you find strength and courage to do what you need to do. I’m happy for your children, that they enjoyed the immense benefit of having a stay at home mother dedicated enough to make that sacrifice for them. There will always be bad people, women and men alike, we must do all in our power to choose a mate that will put the health and well being of the family first, like women should. I read stories like yours in the comment section time and again, and I wish women would manage to divorce the existence of some bad people with the entire concept of prioritizing the children’s needs - namely being present for them - over the risk that might mean to us in the future. Women must learn to better see where our own actions have contributed to carving out the path we find ourselves on.
No going back? Have to disagree there. Sort of. There are lots of ways to do this. My wife and I both went part time and this allowed us to have a parent at home for much of the time for our very young children. Did we have to budget carefully and not buy expensive stuff? yup. But did we have as you say "the happiest time of our lives?" Yup. An d the children benefitted to the max.
So sorry to hear about your husband and all the difficulties and kudos to you for all you do.