The point about people not caring about men's feelings and male disposability is absolutely on the mark, and really hit home. I believe there are a lot of caring people out there, but as you mention a lot of people don't really understand men's perspectives. The challenge of getting a guy to "open up" after he's been told his whole life to "just deal" is so true.
A crystal-clear presentation, disturbing on many counts. The lack of professional attention is particularly striking. All these professionals studying the same thing (women's behavior) because . . . well, face it, until recently *everything* was about men, so we already know all about them. I will share this with a couple of friends and will make a point of being a better listener. Thanks, Tom.
LOL! It was your message that prompted me to post the suicide video. I had meant to post that some time ago and must have forgotten. It has some important points in it.
The video touched on this, but I would like to make it explicit---MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP. This is largely due to the fact that humans are pretty helpless for the first several years of their lives. This puts tremendous pressure on mothers. Mothers need help in raising their children. The main way women get this help is from the fathers. The fathers must be able and willing to help. But if men are not able to take care of themselves, and need help themselves, they are not going to be much help to mothers. Women reject these men. In order to determine which men are willing and able to help them, women eagerly expose their own vulnerabilities, needs, and victimizations. Men who jump to aid these women, become their mates. Men who are needy and victims themselves, are rejected by these women and will never have sex again (or children). This results in women being needy and victims, while men must never admit to being needy or victims. And therefore, women get most all of the help, and MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP. As a result, women attempt suicide about 4 times more often than men (these attempts are often requests for help), while men succeed in suicide 4 times more often than women (they can’t and aren’t looking for help.) The only way out for men is death.
The point about people not caring about men's feelings and male disposability is absolutely on the mark, and really hit home. I believe there are a lot of caring people out there, but as you mention a lot of people don't really understand men's perspectives. The challenge of getting a guy to "open up" after he's been told his whole life to "just deal" is so true.
It is amazing isn't it? People just don't see it.
Excellent! Thanks
It is profoundly sad and disturbing to think we need some kind of massive media campaign to care about the life’s of men and boys.
Yes, but not unexpected.
A crystal-clear presentation, disturbing on many counts. The lack of professional attention is particularly striking. All these professionals studying the same thing (women's behavior) because . . . well, face it, until recently *everything* was about men, so we already know all about them. I will share this with a couple of friends and will make a point of being a better listener. Thanks, Tom.
Glad you liked it Allen and thanks so much for spreading it around!
Synchronicity! I've been knee deep in this stuff all morning on Haidt's Substack.
LOL! It was your message that prompted me to post the suicide video. I had meant to post that some time ago and must have forgotten. It has some important points in it.
That feels good. Of course, as a man, I really don't want to get into that any deeper ;)
<smile>. indeed!
The video touched on this, but I would like to make it explicit---MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP. This is largely due to the fact that humans are pretty helpless for the first several years of their lives. This puts tremendous pressure on mothers. Mothers need help in raising their children. The main way women get this help is from the fathers. The fathers must be able and willing to help. But if men are not able to take care of themselves, and need help themselves, they are not going to be much help to mothers. Women reject these men. In order to determine which men are willing and able to help them, women eagerly expose their own vulnerabilities, needs, and victimizations. Men who jump to aid these women, become their mates. Men who are needy and victims themselves, are rejected by these women and will never have sex again (or children). This results in women being needy and victims, while men must never admit to being needy or victims. And therefore, women get most all of the help, and MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP. As a result, women attempt suicide about 4 times more often than men (these attempts are often requests for help), while men succeed in suicide 4 times more often than women (they can’t and aren’t looking for help.) The only way out for men is death.
The empathy gap is a big factor here.